Wow the last two weeks of my life have been crazy busy with work and school. I originally planned to post this follow up a while ago but just kind of lost track of time. Anyway, the following is an email I received from my Grandma the day after my previous post about struggling with identity and accomplishments. I hope you enjoy it! (Thanks Grandma!)

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Jonathan -
I did a double take as I read your blog tonight – ” I feel like the totality of my artistic achievements aren’t enough to defend my position….” and I related to that statement as I recalled my response to being asked to be the featured quilt artist at the quilt show coming up in Yakima in May.  At first I was thinking I’m not the most qualified person available to this group, I’m not ready to do this, I’ve got to do some more quilts worthy of being featured in a show, please give me some time to figure out more excuses.  As Kathy (the one who called) was talking about what would be required of me if I accepted (not that much) what is really an honor, it dawned on me, “Why not me? I’ve worked long and hard to achieve my quilting reputation and someone actually wants me?”  I quickly did a turn about in my mind and said, “If not now, when?”  so I told Kathy that I would be honored and I would enjoy doing it.

In quilting once you start teaching and enter your work in quilt shows you are no longer considered an amateur.  You have automatically been promoted to professional.  How unready I was for that when I first started teaching.  I figured out a way to deal with that in the classroom.  I just needed to act confident. I have accepted that I do know more than my students. That’s why they are taking the class. A couple of my ladies were able to out-know me with their attitude one day – but I just got over it.  I have been so rewarded with appreciation from my students every time that I’ve taught that it humbles me.

I always regretted not taking art classes. After working for a bank for 39 years, the opportunity to learn something artistic that I could love and enjoy so much has made me feel most fortunate. Fortunate for me because l don’t have the feeling of pressure to please anyone but myself. And my living doesn’t depend on me making money from my craft.  Even though I can quilt the way I want, I do want ever so much for it to please others. Sometimes I have to do something that others don’t – won’t – can’t understand. It’s just in me and it feels good to play with that idea that won’t go away. I have a friend who is an art teacher in the contemporary quilt group I’m in who wants me to take some classes. Sue’s retired but she usually has a class at YVCC in the summer.  What I really need now is more TIME!

My desire is that more artists can be properly appreciated, that their work will be rewarded both emotionally and financially. It’s something I get from my Mom.  She would rather give her work away than sell it. People were not able (remember the Depression mind set) or willing to pay what it was worth. It’s a problem when some undersell their worth and underminds others who are trying to get value for theirs.The bargain hunters are always out there whether it is at an art gallery or a flea market.  I hope times either are changing or will change. For you.

Last Friday a couple of friends went with me to Kennewick to a quilt show.  We were all going because that is something we like to do, but I had another motive – I wanted to see what the featured artist there did!  Oh, oh, she had better quilts than I did (but they were different than mine – apples to oranges) and her display was surely more impressive than mine would be.  What helped me though was that she was there meeting people and enjoying it. She was a good role model for me to see!

Keep pursuing what you love.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Enjoy what you accomplish.

Love, Grandma

Filed under: Art by Jonathan