-Part 1-

So I’m writing this as an attempt to break through a creative block in my thesis work. This guy Steven Pressfield wrote a book called the War of Art in which he described something he calls “the Resistance” that holds you back from accomplishing what it is you’re working on. I haven’t had time to read the book, but I was listening to a podcast with Merlin Mann and Seth Godin talking about it the other day and thought it was really interesting. You see, I’ve reached this point on my thesis where I’m kinda stuck metaphysically. In some ways this sounds very silly, mumbo-jumbo-ish and it is, but at the same time it isn’t.

Mann and Godin were talking about the Resistance and how it is the subconscious fears deep down inside of us that manifest themselves as we get closer and closer to completing a project. I’m certainly nowhere near being finished with my thesis, but I have hit this wall of sorts where I’ve been stuck for the last few weeks. And it really is a wall of fears. Fears about what I’m writing. Fears about if I’m the right one to write it. Fears about how it will be received. Fears that my expectations for the outcome of my work are higher than they should be.

I’m stuck because I care deeply about my subject and I’m scared of getting “it” wrong. I’m scared that I’m writing this theology of justice for artists that is not theological enough, not Christian enough and not artistic enough. I’m scared because it seemed so simple and straightforward when I started but now I feel like there is far more going on than I originally realized. I’m reading these books on art theory and cultural Christianity and restorative justice and realizing that I’m writing some things that have had a pretty radical impact on my own faith. And because I’m dealing with these pretty deep and intense subjects, I’m scared that I’m gonna screw up and make it too easy for people to miss my point.

-Part 2-

I wrote the first part of this post yesterday night and I’ve been thinking about it more since then. When I said this thesis project has become more than I thought it would when I started the idea I was trying to get at is this–I set out to write a theology of justice for Christian artists, I have come to realize I’m really writing about a faith rooted in justice and the expression of that faith through art. It’s still a theology of justice for Christian artists–the structure and and the content of what I write is still going to be the same–but how I think about it has changed. Previously I thought it was this pretty straight forward persuasive essay, but now I’m seeing it more as a personal theology. I’m really drawing a line in the sand and saying justice is the central theme of our faith and we do justice by living in relationship with others–all of scripture revolves around this idea. And the idea of giving form to the loose, post-modern, metaphysical, asystematic theology I have operated under in the last five years kinda scares me. It scares me because once I put my foot down on this, once I stake that claim, I can be wrong–or worse, I can be challenged.

Basing faith in vague terms and concepts temps us because it is easy. Like a seed pod blowing in the wind we can just go wherever the breeze takes us. If it changes direction, if our faith community changes direction, we just go along with the flow. This leads to tragically shallow faith! Yes it’s easy to talk about how all we need is Christ’s love or God’s grace or boil things down to the three or five most important bullet points of our faith to remember and quote, but at best it is shallow and at worst it leads to bad theology! I listened for the fourth or fifth time to a couple of Donald Miller talks he gave at SPU about 5 years ago and he really hits on this point. Christianity is really about a relationship, not a system. Things like systematic theologies, catechisms, even some tracts do have truth in them and can be supported with Bible verses but they also aren’t the complete picture. When we boil faith down to a pocket sized formula it’s easy to remember and protect, but it loses it’s meaning. Miller even talks about the idea of truth without meaning, we have faith without understanding.

Coming back to the idea of “Resistance” that I started out with, I think the reason I’m having trouble right now is that I’m afraid of the cost of infusing meaning into my thesis, back into my faith. Afraid of claiming a faith that says Jesus calls us to a life in opposition to comfort and power, sometimes even radically so. Afraid of claiming a faith that demands I see the world through God’s eyes. See people through God’s eyes. See them as beloved children of God, no matter what they can do for me or what they have done to me. God’s grace has saved us from the system and the law and the sacrifices of the old covenant, but the new covenant sealed with Christ’s death on the cross pulls us into a relationship that redefines our understanding of God, of ourselves and of the people around us.

So when I sit down to write about the relationship between faith and justice I’m not just playing connect the dots. I’m not just giving a list of verses that prove my point. Guys, we have a God and a Savior who want desperately to be in relationship with us. Here we sit as Christians fighting about who’s right with people outside of the church and even with each other. We’re so good at setting up walls and defenses and hurling stones back and forth. We blast each other on TV, we do it on the internet, we do it in our churches and our small groups. We’ve grown so concerned with being right that, again as Miller points out, we have truth but not meaning. Verses become weapons for assailing the reason of our enemies and we march proudly from victory to victory leaving a path of destruction in our wake. We get drawn into Pyrrhic battles that we just can’t afford. We have forgotten the heart of our gospel is a life lived in relationship as an example of the Kingdom. Justice isn’t just rescuing children from forced prostitution, it is being a daily reminder of the love of Christ to your neighbors through your service and actions rather than nailing a tract to their door every weekend. Some people are called to justice work in Africa or SE Asia or in prisons or homeless shelters. But many more are called to do justice in a suburb of Boise, in a neighborhood north of Seattle, in a coffee shop in DC, in a pub in Atlanta, in a hair salon in Milwaukee, etc, etc, etc.

These are the ideas rolling around in my head as I sit down to write my little paper. I hope that I can do both physical and metaphorical justice with the words I write. If all I do is give artists a framework for defending themselves in front of their critics I have failed. This is not a paper about art, it is a paper about people. This is not a justice of vengeance, it is a justice of reconciliation. This is not a faith about answers, this is a faith about relationships. Come live it with me.

Filed under: life by Jonathan